


Empthy shells

by hyuckhyuck



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Death, M/M, Temporary Character Death, it's not that bad but u will get it when u read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckhyuck/pseuds/hyuckhyuck
Summary: “Surprise! Haha, I’m back from the dead! Isn’t that exciting?“
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han
Kudos: 16





	Empthy shells

**Author's Note:**

> please look at the tags!!! and this is all a story!! it's all fiction!!! pls note that, thank you!

It had been officially two weeks since Chan died. Jisung got the phone call two weeks ago that Chan had a unknown heart attack and died on the spot. The younger had a breakdown in the hallway of his school when he got to know the news. His hyung had died and there wasn’t any reasons to why or how he got the heart attack. Chan had an unusual way of living his day to day life, but it wasn’t that bad that he could get a heart attack of it.

Jisung attended Chans funeral one week after it happened, he cried even more on the funeral. He spent the days after in bed doing nothing, not eating nor sleeping. He thought back to all the things they did and created together. Working on their songs now felt impossible, he felt like it wasn’t his to touch any of the track they made since Chan couldn’t be there to fix them.

What hurt the most was that he didn’t get to tell him everything, he never got to confess his real feelings and his awkward crush on the older. He never got to show the older his secret tracks he made for him in secret. He never got to make the older his famous strong coffee he always did at their late night recordings one last time. He had so much he wished he got to do before the older left him.

Everyday now felt gray without Chan, even the sunniest day felt gray. Jisung dragged himself to school and back. He didn’t even visit their favorite coffee shop anymore, he didn’t have the strength to walk in there alone anymore. He ate and slept only to survive and tried to keep himself busy with school, but there is a point where even that doesn’t work. Where his mind start to bleed, where everything starts to break down.

He wasn’t sure what day or week it was anymore, I didn’t matter either.

Jisung got back from one of his lecture, he went to unlock his door but noticed it was already open. 

_Did I not lock it? Weird._

Jisung carefully walked in, everything seemed to be the same. He took off his jacket and put his bag on the floor. With easy steps he walked into the living room but stopped abruptly, there was someone in his living room. He saw someone sitting on his couch with their legs on the coffee table. 

Jisung backed up to the hall where he kept a baseball bat just in case, Chan had gotten it for him when he started to live alone. Just incase something would happen to him.

He got it and walked up to the person on the couch. The person had curly and yet black hair, familiar body structure to someone he used to know.

He made eye contact with the person on the couch and he couldn’t believe what he saw.

_It was Chan._

Jisung screamed out in shock and fright. Chan was dead how in hell was he sitting on his couch?

Chan got up from the couch with a big smile, he opened his arm for a hug.

_“Surprise! Haha, I’m back from the dead! Isn’t that exciting?“_

Jisung couldn’t believe his ears, did he just say he is _back?_ Jisung panicked and hit Chan in the ribs with the bat, making the older fall to the floor with a thump. 

The older groaned and held his side, Jisung dropped the bat and tried to help the older to sit up.

_“Oh fuck, shit, Chan I’m sorry”_

The younger tried to help the older that he had just hit, but Chan only winced at Jisung who was touching him just where he had hit him.

_“You asshole, You hit me!”_

_“You scared me! What do you think?! You died Chan! “_

Jisung yelled, he was still in shock from what was happening. Chan being alive somehow and everything.

_“Well, it didn’t stick keep it up, Ji“_

Chan sat up and signed for the younger to stop touching him and just sit down.

_“How are you alive? I went to your funeral hyung, it’s been three weeks”_

Jisung felt his eyes prickle, It had been so long and he was back, just like that. Like it was nothing, like Jisung didn’t suffer for weeks without him.

Like Jisung didn’t suffer from weeks of anxiety, denial and shock. He couldn’t eat or drink for the first days and now Chan was just back? Like that. Like nothing had happened between those weeks of him being dead.

_“It’s a long story, but I’m back now!”_

Jisung felt anger boil inside him, he went through everything in vain. Jisung cried for weeks and felt miserable all for nothing.

A long story? That’s all he had to say? Was he kidding? Was all this just a sick prank?

_“Three fucking weeks! and you are back now!? Couldn't you been back oh I don’t know, before your own funeral ?! I had breakdowns every single day because I missed you and now you are just sitting on my couch like its all good!? You asshole-”_

_“Ji, I’m Sorry I-”_

_“Do you know how hard it’s been waking up every single day knowing I would never see you again?!”_

_“Ji please-”_

_“Do you know how hard it’s been knowing I could never make music with you again?! Or how I could never use a cold day as an excuse to get you to hug me! Or how I never got the chance to say I Love you?! Do you know how fucking hard it’s been without you!”_

Jisung was sobbing and screaming, he didn’t care if this was the real Chan or a stupid prank. He had to scream out all the things that had boiled up inside him for weeks.The things that had him close to crying in class because he couldn’t take it anymore. He was holding Chan for dear life, he felt like he couldn’t breath himself. It almost felt like he was the one who had died.

He didn’t care that he spilled out everything he felt about the older, he didn’t care. 

_“Jisung...”_

_“..Hyung...Please don’t ever leave me again..”_

Jisung tighten the grip on Chan, He was shaking and sobbing. He felt so broken, so numb. 

Chan held him tight, he held him as tight as he could. Jisung broke down in the arms of the older, whispering words of “ _don't leave_ ” and “ _fuck you_ ”.

_“I won't leave you again, I’m so sorry Ji”_

_“D-Do you know w-what i went through? I couldn’t do anything for days, I…. I haven’t been happy for weeks hyung..”_

_“I-I feel like a empty shell without you, I’m nothing without you”_

The older petted Jisungs hair, coming it through with his finger. The gesture felt warm and familiar for them both, it reminded them of when they first met.

Jisung first met Chan through Changbin, It was Jisungs first year of high school. The boy didn’t know anyone expect Changbin and the older introduced Chan to him. The day he introduced him was the same day his dog got killed, even though the older didn’t know the younger. He comforted him, he was there for him day one. 

The familiar gestured burned Jisung, it hurt him. Chan died, yet he was here to comfort him for the thing he caused him to cry. Every stroke that comforted him felt like an ice bucket falling right over his head.

It burned and freezed him. Chan was here, he was here to comfort him for being dead.

Jisung couldn’t be mad or angry at the older, he couldn’t. How was he supposed to hate the same person he had loved since the beginning of high school. The person he would die for if it meant the older would stay by his side again.

_“Jisung?”_

Jisung nodded, he couldn’t talk anymore. Every word in his mind was nothing more than unfinished and rotten blobs. He hated it, he hated everything about it.

_“I’m so sorry ji, I wish I didn’t leave, I really fucking wish I didn’t”_

_“I won’t leave you again love, I will stay behind you like I have always done”_

_“I love you too, Always had, ever since we first met that awful day when your dog died”_

_“ You were so sad and I couldn't let you go through that alone, but i let you go through something like that alone years later”_

_“I’m so sorry”_

Jisung thought he couldn’t cry more tears, but he did. He thought the three weeks were enough but they weren't.

The exhaustion hit him and he fell asleep in Chans arm. The older held him strong and let him sleep right on the living room floor.

Jisung prayed and hoped that when he woke up, he would still be there. There by his side, holding him tight. That this all wasn’t a sick dream. That Chan really was back. He had to be back, Chan had to be back. He wouldn't leave him again, right?

_Because, that's what he said._

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this was supposed to be happy and fun, didn't happen. Life got a little in the way and changed it.


End file.
